Memorials and Memories

This past Monday was Memorial Day. It's a day when our country remembers the sacrifice of those who have served and given their lives in service to our country. In my family growing up, the Memorial Day holiday was also a day to remember and honor our family who had passed on to live with Jesus. We would go to the cemetery in Northern Kentucky and plant flowers on the graves. We walked among the tombstones and noted the dates, looking for the oldest ones. We shook our heads in grief over the graves of the infants or very young. We saluted the veterans' graves. There is one grave with an inscription that describes how a young sailer's brave action saved the lives of those on board his vessel while taking his life. That one is sobering and it cuts to the quick of the meaning of Memorial Day. This year Gabe and I went with my parents, sister, and nephew to Northern Kentucky to do it all again. This year, though, we had another family grave to honor. My gramma died this year on New Year's. It's been six months now, and yet the emotion is still close to the surface. My gramma has been on my mind so much since we came back home from China.

Before I left for China in late April, I was crossing things off my mental to-do list while driving home from errands, and I thought, "And before I leave it would be good if I could get to see Gramma again." It hits me over and over like that, out of the clear blue sky with no warning. 

My gramma was so looking forward to meeting Gabe. She had a special twinkle in her eyes when she asked about him and whether we had had any updates. At the funeral service I think every one of her friends told me that my gramma had lived a full life, and that her only regret would have been that she didn't get to see Gabe come home. Her death was so sudden. We are glad that she didn't know pain or suffering, but it just hurt that our precious boy wouldn't get to feel her special hug or share her laughter. As this year passes, every first we have with Gabriel is also a first without my gramma... First Mother's Day with Gabe and first Mother's Day without Gramma. 

I watch Gabe run and jump and play, and I listen to that special laugh, and I know that my gramma is watching him and hearing him too. Her goodness, joy, and sweetness will live through him because of the qualities that she taught all of us that we will model for Gabe. She was a role model for me, and Gabe is now surrounded by a great cloud of family who will be his role models, and shape his life the way Gramma shaped mine- Grammy (lau lau) & Mac, Magraul (nie nie) & Papaw, Great-Granny, aunts, uncles, cousins, and many more!